Friday Morning Humor
Holly | Posted 5:48am 3. October 2003 Server Time |
I just got this one in an e-mail. Hope you get a kick out of it.
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations):
"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have
a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Ooh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure."
"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."
|
enigma | Posted 6:06am 3. October 2003 Server Time |
Holly,
This is really sad. Poor Rich should be given a raise if these types of phone calls are frequent and, the ID-10-T whom had the balls to call should honestly be re-evaluated for proficiency. It's a shame that the caller's email didn't show up in the conversation - I know he or she would be getting a great amount of email comment volume concerning their ineptitute.
Really sad.
enigma
Sojan | Posted 6:21am 3. October 2003 Server Time |
OOoooo that's bad...
Not the worst i heard but it is bad...
we had some poor kid and their folks here at the university where I work. It seems they picked up a second hand computer for the kid to bring to school....
Got a great deal... $150 for the whole thing, box, monitor, mouse...
They wanted to hook it up to our network... it turns out what they bought was a 486sx box running Windows 3.11 for Wrokgroups... poor bastard almost had a caniption when we told him we couldn't help... but we would call a priest to his"new" computer last rites...
findel | Posted 7:45am 3. October 2003 Server Time |
WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
- - silence - - - --------------
EiSa | Posted 6:44pm 3. October 2003 Server Time |
OK, this one is mine. Stay away.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2560827952&category=621
pacoonejr | Posted 8:04pm 4. October 2003 Server Time |
when i die i hope i go peacefully like my grandfather. in my sleep.
not kicking and screaming like the people he was driving home......
platinumbayi | Posted 7:57am 17. October 2003 Server Time |
http://www.platinumbay.com/nicetry.gif
Ophelia | Posted 9:52am 17. October 2003 Server Time |
Here's my contribution:
http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859
PS - Great to have you and your humor back Pac :)
findel | Posted 7:13am 20. October 2003 Server Time |
platinumbayi GREAT! that one now has a place on the wall behind my desk. It will now become a joke to help me decide if I like people.
If they laugh at it, then they are worthy of my time. If they dont (expecailly if they are MENT to be programmers) then i kick them out of my office.
:)
pacoonejr | Posted 9:54am 20. October 2003 Server Time |
a nun a rabbi a priest a doctor a lawyer and an indian chief walk into a bar. the bartender says "Whats this? A joke?"
Reply to Post Friday Morning Humor
|
|
|
